Colleen Cluff
Most of my life I never had the desire or urge to ask or talk about sexual intimacy. It seemed like such a foreign and unholy topic. People that did talk about sex were inappropriate and gross. Sex was something that if you did, God was going to be angry. All of these thoughts came from a lack of understanding.
In the talk by Sean E. Brotherson, Fulfilling the Sexual Stewardship in Marriage, he discusses the four horsemen for sexual fulfillment in marriage; ignorance, inhibition, ill will, and immorality. These four topics made a lot of sense as I was reading. I think the one that rang most true to me was ignorance. I didn’t know that sex was actually a good thing. I had only heard the warnings. No, we should not have sex before marriage. If we were to do that, we would be breaking God’s commandments. We would be unhappy, hurt, and confused. We would have committed one of the biggest sins. But within the bounds of marriage, “sex should be a celebration. It comes from God. He created our sexual appetites and natures. He has ordained us to make love both physically and spiritually. He is pleased when He sees us bonded together sexually, in love, for this is the plan of creation.” (Brent Barlow, 1986, par. 4) I believe that many young LDS kids are confused and ignorant when it comes to the topic of sex. But, all we need to do is help them understand that it is actually a good thing, we just need to wait until we are married to have sexual intimacy.
The couple months leading up to getting married to my sweet husband, Noah, many people had varying opinions on this topic. I had several girls tell me that I would feel bad afterward, ashamed, or sad. I would feel as if I committed a great sin. Others told me that it would be this fun thing I would get to do with my husband. What no one told me was that it would be a way for me to show love to my husband and God. Sexual intimacy is a sacred opportunity to show commitment to our spouse and our Father in Heaven. God literally commanded us to have sex in marriage. With this new point of view on the matter, it has become a way to not only know my husband more but my Savior and Father. I feel more committed in my marriage, the gospel, and all other aspects of coming closer to Christ.
Overall, I think this topic has been very misconstrued for a long time. It isn’t just a form of recreation. It isn’t this unholy topic that you can never ask about. And it isn’t something to be ashamed of in marriage. It is a gift from God that allows a husband and wife to come closer together, know their Heavenly Father and Savior more, and find new joy in life. Just like Brent Barlow stated, “We believe in it.” (Brent Barlow, 1986, p. 1)
Works Cited:
Barlow, Brent A. (1986, September). They Twain Shall Be One: Thoughts on Intimacy in Marriage. Ensign.
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