Colleen Cluff
Marriage has been a commandment from the beginning, but, just as times of old, commandments are never perfectly fulfilled by every son and daughter of God. We especially see this in the most recent years in regard to marriage. Where it should be a blessing of comfort, love, guidance and growth, people today see it more as a set back or hindrance to their progression. I found it sad to see this as the reality for so many young people my age. I recently got married (3 weeks ago) and it has been the biggest, most fun adventure of my life so far. I love being married to my husband and am excited to grow, struggle, work, and love life with him. I wouldn’t want to do that on my own, so why do so many of my peers see marriage differently?
I understand that it can be intimidating to try and do something new. You never know 100% how things will turn out, but what good would life be if we knew the outcomes to every single thing we did? This is the question that people seem to hate, I think. They want to know how everything will turn out. So, instead of making that legal commitment and covenant with a spouse and God, they figure they can try it out. Living with someone that you think you could marry sounds like an okay idea. Until you realize that most people who cohabitate never actually get married, or it’s never on their mind. That blew my mind away! Lots of people live with someone without the intent to further make greater commitments and covenants with that person.
As I read through the several articles, I felt I was gaining new insight I hadn’t thought about before. Especially when I was reading the talk by Elder Oaks on Divorce. I understand that other people’s relationships are not my own and I have no room to judge them, nor would I want to, but I found it helpful that he would touch on such a big subject. I know there are very legitimate reason to divorce, and in some cases I would hope that a couple would. But when couple think that you can “fall out of love”, or that “their spouse just won’t change”, etc., etc, just seems to me that the world is becoming more prideful. Marriage is not about what you gain. It is about what you give, how your serve, the love you show to your spouse.
I am not perfect, far from it actually. In the 3 weeks of being married I have already been selfish, mean, sarcastic, and the list goes on. But I am trying. My husband and I made it a goal to help each other see when we are in the wrong, or rather when we hurt each other unintentionally (because I would never want to hurt him intentionally). This has helped me a lot. I have come to recognize that I am not as humble or kind as I thought. But I want to be better because I want to see my husband happy. I want him to know that I love him more than anything else.
So, I guess what I am trying to get at, is I want to break the worldly norm. I do not want to be what others think is best, because it makes them happy or brings pleasure. But I want to find joy in my marriage. I want Christ to be at the center of it. And I am recognizing that not everyone sees the importance of what I just said, but it is how I want to live my life. I hope I can somehow be an example to others and show them that marriage– having Christ in a marriage– brings me more joy than doing life as the world would.
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